The Fighter Still Remains

By Charlie Amos.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

I am not battling God anymore, my fight is with fear.

The Fighter Still Remains

It’s been a struggle at times.  Some days I’ve felt like a boxer trying to get up after I’ve been knocked out…..unsteady, bruised, marked up, confused.  Only the fighter still remained.

I remember days when I was barely able to walk or talk and days when I didn’t know if I’d live or die.  But the fighter still remained.  There have been days when I couldn’t feel anything, and days when loneliness and emotions were so powerful and that in both cases, there I’d sit, weeping.  The fighter still remained.

There are lots of times when I don’t know what’s going to happen next.  I’ve been struck down by my own fears and cut by my own heart.  But the fighter still remained.

I claim God in my corner to lift me up and help me ride this out, to ease my fears and soothe my pain, to be that one thing I can trust and believe in, to love me until I can love myself, to forgive me and allow me to forgive myself, to keep me teachable and to teach me how to live, to allow me to be happy, to allow me to know joy, and to allow me to be free….if I have THAT God to stand with me, then nothing can stand against me.

I’m not battling God anymore, but I fight on to overcome the shackles of selfishness and self-centeredness, to break the chains of prejudice and fear, and push the boundaries of acceptance and surrender.  And in that transformed sense, the fighter still remains.

Charlie Amos

One thought on “The Fighter Still Remains

  • Very nice Charlie, you put into words what I myself feel and have felt like, and I think a lot of others also.

    There was a time when I would have described myself as damaged and forgotten, but through the fellowship and also just time living life sober, I find that for me being a recovering alcoholic is a blessing.

    The good, the bad and the ugly have all marinated in my soul pot to produce the man I am today, and that is one that I believe is in a better position to do some good before I leave this place.

    Thanks Charlie for your ministry and I look forward to the read!

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